I Give Myself Away

One afternoon while driving home after work, I decided to listen to the radio instead of Pandora for once. Everyday Doug Banks on V103  has an adult discussion and on this particular day they were talking about relationships. I can't remember the question posed verbatim but I believe it asked listeners if they felt obligated to date constantly until they found the right person. I wasn't expecting to hear anything breathtakingly insightful because I find myself disagreeing with most of the callers and opinions expressed. Then something different happened. One young lady called in to give her testimony. She said that she had been in a relationship that ended and left her very damaged. Instead of trying to fill that void in her life with yet another man, she told us that she decided to use that time alone in order to work on herself. She started volunteering, traveling, making new friends (that were just friends), and passing time with activities that developed other aspects of her life. She said when she made the effort to address her love life by not addressing it at all she found herself much happier.

That sister's words really hit home for me. How many encounters of love have we missed because we were too busy chasing it? Sometimes we get tunnel vision and focus on one type of love. Romantic love. God offers us so much through the lives of others. Last year between August and December I spent nearly every Friday night with 3 tourists (Adriana, Liliana, and Javier) from Mexico City that had temporarily settled in Chicago to strengthen their English. For hours we would gather around the kitchen table in their tiny Little Village apartment and talk. Friday nights are practically treasure to a 20 something year old individual and for several months I forfeited mine in order to help someone learn the difference between saying "I am seeking" and "I am looking for." Did I get tired? Yes. Did I miss a lot of dates? Yup! Did I have to turn down offers? Yezzir. But whenever I couldn't make it to these sessions I felt horrible. Why? Because I had fallen in love with these 3 people.  The genuine concern, compassion, and appreciation we shared for each other had created a special bond. They never knew about the problems I was having with my ex but they always made me feel better after he and I had fought or were having issues. 

One night after sharing a laugh, Liliana told me "Janiece, sometimes I cry and thank God for you because you are so kind." I couldn't believe I had that impact on someone and my blushing showed it. Then I thought about times when I would leave their presence and drive down Western, sobbing to myself because one of them had obliviously ministered to me in some profound way. We did not share a native tongue. We were from two different countries. Sometimes we did not understand each other. Yet, somehow a selfless love and generosity transcended beyond these barriers. I would ask Him how it was possible that these people's sincerity could be so evident. He's so mysterious. I thank Him for allowing that relationship to be built because it touched my soul in an irreversible way. 

I am a firm believer that if we give ourselves away in sacrificial servitude, we will gain a larger portion of ourselves back.  I like to call it spiritual reciprocity. By denying myself the things I would have normally been doing during that time, I acquired a special blessing. That special blessing, is a deeper sense of becoming more like Christ. I know from personal experience that it instantly nails down a bit more of your joy, subsequently making your joy even harder for anyone or anything to steal. So, I would have to say that the young woman who called into the station that day was on point with her approach.  You can indirectly edify you love life by edifying the lives of others with your love. :)

Peace and Blessings,

Janiece